I’ve been traveling around Germany with my program the last two weeks, and am in Hamburg tonight. I saw the inauguration with my fellowship group on a CNN.com feed on a big screen, with a dinner buffet. It was nice, but still, this has been one of the hardest days of my year abroad for me. The feelings of excitement and euphoria I wanted to have were absent, replaced by a sadness (almost a numbness, actually) because I was not able to experience this historic moment in my country.
There’s that song by Rufus Wainwright (“Going to a Town”) in which he croons, “I’m so tired of America,” and, “I got a life to lead, America.” I saw Rufus up close and personal in concert soon after I first got to Berlin. I’d heard that song before, and it struck me when I heard it again that, indeed, these were the very reasons I came abroad. I, too, was tired of America — tired of the crass consumer culture, of the lack of attention to and understanding of the rest of the world, and simply of the same way of life I had always known. I, too, had a life to lead, and it seemed that moving abroad would help me lead it a bit better; moving to Europe (and to Berlin, which “Going to a Town” is in fact about) would give me the chance to see everything — my life, the world and America itself — from a new perspective.
But it feels like the America I was tired of is, as of today (if not as of Election Day), largely gone. It may be a temporary illusion, but America at this moment seems like a new place — a land of new beginnings and new possibilities. Watching today’s ceremonies on TV, I could see the resurgent patriotism, the pride and the enthusiasm for just being there, being together, being a part of this moment. Washington, D.C., of all places, right now seems like the most exciting city on the planet — not only today, but in the coming months as the new government gets its footing and begins to change the country and the world.
It was George Bush’s America that drove me away, and Barack Obama’s that is pulling me back. But by the time I’m back at the end of May, what will Barack Obama’s America look like? Will things have changed? Will there really be more people doing community service? Will Americans really be more interested and involved in politics and policy? Will the constant dull headache of the Bush years have wholly disappeared?
For the world’s sake, I hope the best part — the historic part, the fun part, the magical part — is only just beginning.
